Monday, June 1, 2015

time to come home

6/1/15. Monday. i feel like today i might cry. i miss home so much.  this is ridiculous.  whose idea was this and why the fuck am i here?  the daily pep talks aren't working.  it's a constant battle with myself.

everything makes me miss san diego.  i'm unsettled here.  uncomfortable.  all this shit about things happening outside your comfort zone, i get it.  but i'm done.  i don't need it, this constant Not Fitting.

the people here are assholes.  or i'm unlikeable. okay, that's not true.  but everyone gave me contact info for people in arizona and nothing.  crickets.  family of family hasn't texted to check in on me or invite me to dinner, etc.  thta baby shower was a joke. talk about uncomfortable.

what the shit.  i hate arizona.  this job is hard.  which i think i might be able to deal with if i had my support system of people.

i haven't found a doctor, a hair person, a dentist, a therapist.  i hate everything and it's all stupid.

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