Monday, September 19, 2016


I read articles by authors who are laying out their guts for everyone to see and judge. More than their guts, they lay out their hearts. Sliced and pressed under microscopes, all the more easy to taste and discard them. 

<holds up to light. turns in hand. deems it a felt emotion, an experienced adventure; catalogues and reaches for the next>

And what am I doing? Hiding behind a desk and a title. Eager to make large moves and reflect, but not to dissect them for others' eyes. 

For my eyes. My reflection. 

Too afraid to revisit those lonely roads and flights and cities; to run my hands around my perfect nest. 

Where was I? 

Diving. Unwrapping. Revisiting. 

Digging and bearing witness. 

Making promises and casting my future. 

Do not make it all for naught. 

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Weekend home

San Diego prices she's home because of this weekend. Babysat a three year old. And didn't murder anyone. Had lunch with the family of another fm three year old. Didn't even see my sister for an entire week but that's totally fine bc maybe I'll see her next week or this week. 

Planned on a luau this evening and almost didn't go. But Past Yo moved home so weekends like this could happen. She wished and hoped and missed weekends like this. 

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Days like these

Days like this are the reason why I moved back to SD. Babysat a friend's kid, hung out with other friends who have a kid the same age, met friends at a luau, bumped into other friends at said luau. I almost didn't go tonight. But I thought to myself, these are the days Phoenix Yo wished for.