Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Happy birthday

Thank you for your text and beer wishes on my birthday. Your words were so kind and thoughtful and I can't think of anything to say to you but I miss you. 

I love the frothy beer glass and it's my favorite beer and you remembered after all these years and how many of these beers have we shared? Late nights and patios and conversations and holding. 

And I just got teary eyed imagining us on a green grassy lawn in cool shade. 

Or maybe we're walking under a tree lined sidewalk, the Columbia glittering next to us. You'd look at me and I'd grin back at you. You'd ask me "What?" in that way you have and I'd smile and tell you that it's so soothing to be in this moment with you, knowing we carry pieces of each other in us. 

But I wouldn't say all of that out loud. It's too much. So I would hold it inside, letting only, "it's just nice to see you after all this time," out, like steam from a covered pot. 

And that's what I wish for you on your birthday. Sweet moments with the ones you love, knowing they love you in return, sharing that intimate space with you. The intimacy of knowing someone's heart. 

The way you know mine and the way I know yours. 

Happy birthday. I love you. 

Maybe I'm reminding myself to cherish these moments with my friends. Or maybe I'm being super nostalgic. Or both. Or vulnerable. 

Maybe I'm saving this little corner of imagination for myself. Allowing me to imagine what cold have been. And what I want in the future. 

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